There are rituals and observations that every new parent must endure and observe. Certain tasks that must be performed in just the right way, so as to avoid ruining the life of the child and isolating and offending all of your closest family. Typically these are simple things, like, feeding your new infant and not leaving it on the roof of the car as you pull out of the driveway. Occaisionally they are dangerous things, like, fighting off a pack of hungry wolves with a burning table leg while fleeing Siberia during the October revolution, or registering your child with a desirable day care service.
Most often though, these things that we must do are easy, and even fun. Tasks like video taping the kid’s first steps, taking a nap with him laying on your chest, or teaching him how to design a defensive position with overlapping fields of fire that intersect predicted enemy approach angles and has adequate overhead cover to mitigate damage from incoming mortar fire, are all rewarding and enjoyable.
A limited few of these obligations are rife with potential obstacles and unforeseen complications, and must be performed regardless of need, lest you ostracize your closest friends and family. Such is the baby shower.
Don’t scoff. I can hear you scoffing! Baby showers are minefields of potential disaster with far reaching consequences. Did you forget to invite a rich Aunt? Does the cake include ingredients that will send any attendees into anaphylactic shock? Will the mother to be freak out about colors of the guest book? Did the invitations include the address? Will anyone guess the circumference of the mother’s belly? Did we buy enough beer?
Despite all the risk, we elected to go ahead with the baby shower. Lot’s of people showed up, including my sister who flew in from Texas. Close to 50 people (including toddlers and infants) sat around eating, talking, drinking and giving us gifts. The number of attendees seemed to surprise Cameron who evidently believes we are social pariahs living on a secluded island in the Baltic Sea, with no friends or contact with civilized company. It did not surprise me, because I know we aren’t lepers; and the invitations said we’d be serving food. People are suckers for free food.
If you attended, thank you. Your generosity and friendship are appreciated. It’s nice to have such good friends. If you didn’t attend, man you missed out. I cooked Kahlua Pork. My grind pretty ono for haole. There were also giraffe cookies, a Jedi cake, and plenty of beer. Click through for the rest of the pictures.
